How to become rich by loafing around

After years of research I’ve come to the conclusion that there is a way to become rich without working strenuously; to be born of a rich family holding silver chopsticks. It’s really easy: you don’t have to do anything though your parents had to work strenuously.

Sadly we common people know that this is almost impossible and much harder than winning the lottery so most of us give up this idea. But almost all owners of the chaebol or rich men have a tenacity to make sure that their next generations are born biting on silver spoon in the hope that their descendants would always be rich, leading an easy life.

The rich also love their children, of course, so we shouldn’t be too envious of babies born into wealth. Some unknown power of fate, however, puts the brakes on the moneyed succession. Studies have found that wealth usually disappears at about the third generation. And if not, the grandchildren most likely face ethical problems or trouble with the laws.

In addition to the unknown force of the destiny, the inheritance departments of the National Tax Service are waiting leisurely for the chances to take their share of wealth accumulated, rightfully or somewhat anomalously, for which tax authorities often ignored citing political reasons, back into the treasury. No need to rush, everyone dies someday.

This soothes and gratifies the hostility-filled struggling union workers. The taxation system is, in a way, designed with an envious feeling against the upstarts by not-too-rich salaried government employees.

I certainly am not rich but after some forty years of “hard work,” happen to own a small piece of real estate and I know my daughter won’t be able to pay the inheritance tax without reselling the bequeathed property and paying the capital gains tax plus a various local taxes that are waiting to fall on her from a great height, if I died tomorrow. I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t worry about what happens after I’m gone, but I too love my child and grandchildren.

Loopholes are everywhere and there must be a way to save some money on tax, I fancied. Dressed shabbily I ventured to visit the local tax office for a consultation. Tax collectors nowadays are very courteous and they have removed from the office walls the once famous slogan “Keep squeezing, it oozes out.”

I timidly asked if there was a way to reduce my capital gains and inheritance taxes to a spectacled man wearing a cheap tie. “Ah, the wealth gained while sleeping,” said the man in an accusatory tone not hinting at any escape route. It was a foolish question on my part.

“Eoreusinnae (respectful elder, sir), you don’t look like you’ll go too soon,” the collector flattered me. “Thanks, but you seem to be scanning the obituary columns every day,” I frowned. He strongly denied it but I knew he was doing some quick arithmetic for his share of collectibles. I suspect that the inheritance department maintains a close business relationship with funeral homes.

Getting back to the loafing around, I knew the late father of the recently arrested Hanwha chairman, who was known among expatriates in Seoul as “Dynamite Kim,” as he produced dynamite and gunpowder, and was respected by many for his entrepreneurship. I’m sorry to hear that the junior Kim who was born with a golden spoon received a four year prison term for embezzlement.

The owners of Samsung, Hyundai, Doosan, Orion, and Taekwang Groups have all made the same mistake in an attempt to pass their fortunes on to their descendants by taking the wrong path, forgetting that there is no way to be rich without working strenuously. <The Korea Times/Nam Sang-so>

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